that-one-kid-who-doesnt

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

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i find the implications hilarious:

  1. kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that
  2. but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh
  3. yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function
  4. upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

why do we even have that lever? because you built it yzma. these are the machinations of your own design yzma! YOU ARE TANGLED IN A WEB OF YOUR OWN WEAVING YZMA! YZMA THAT IS YOUR CROCODILE!!!

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

shout-out to everyone in the notes claiming that kronk pulled the wrong lever on purpose. you are so right, this is the face of a himbo who knows what's up

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

#the best thing about kronk is that he is very very competent just at nothing in his actual job description #yzma keeps him around so she can be competent-passing in comparison but she is ALSO a dumbass! #dream team

psychotic-gerard
psychotic-gerard

do you all remember in the early 2010s where people were talking about freeing the nipple and that mixed-gender sports should become a thing and the removal of period tax and all of that and then some people realised that would mean trans people too ans they instantly decided to revert to bioessentialism 101 and now i have to see grating sentences like Well maybe jeopardy should be gender-segregated because males have a biological advantage in pressing a button

candycoatedblood
whatbigotspost

Just LOVE seeing Walmart’s back to school campaign for moms all about simplifying buying the long ass list of supplies by grade they need for all their kids to go to the local public elementary school.

Liiiike what if we taxed like 50 people properly. and then ALL kids in the local elementary school could just show up day 1 with all the supplies and meals and EVERYTHING needed to thrive and learn and be curious and happy?? What about how SIMPLE that would be?? But noooo no. Let’s let corporations take care of it for like 25% who can access that. Cool. Cool.

hellsite-hall-of-fame
consulting-khanberbatch

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

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they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

thetalkingcrocus

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

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liberissima

RUTABAGA. THE POLL ONE IS RUTABAGA NOT KEVIN.

d0n-d13g0

@hellsite-hall-of-fame